Yes, 25 DOES Feel Different

I turned 25 on Friday. It was the first time that when asked if it feels any different to be 25, I can honestly respond, "Yes, it feels different." If I were to be truly honest, I'd have to say that it's because of what happened in 24.

Year 24:

Do I even remember the first few months? No, not really. I was slaving away at a thankless job, with co-workers that mocked my character, morals, and faith. Truly, working as a hairdresser was the worst job I have ever had. It was exhausting, degrading, and toxic in every imaginable way. However, in spite of that, I can honestly say that there are things that were produced in me that I am so grateful for. God promised me that He would take any situation and use it to produce His fruit, even the darkness that was hairdressing. He was faithful and delivered on His promise. 

There is one event that clearly stands out to me in the midst of those few trying months. My great-grandfather passed away in January. He was 92 years old and had the faith of a giant. When he was 20, he was diagnosed with a serious heart condition. The doctor's had anticipated that he only had a few years ahead of him before he would die, and warned my great-grandmother not to marry him. She did anyway. For the next 72 years, there was always the possibility that he would pass away at any time because of his heart condition. 

 I have one particular memory of him that was life-changing for me. A couple of years ago, my great-grandmother passed away. She had been taken to the icu unit at the local hospital, but my great-grandfather, a WWII vet who also needed treatment was taken to the veteran's hospital. There they were, my great-grandmother in one hospital and my great-grandfather in another, when she slipped into a coma, and then that agonizing decision had to be made. My mom and I went to first to visit her, and then to the veteran's hospital to visit him. We tried to make arrangements for my great-grandfather to be transported so that he could see her one last time. After 70+ years of marriage, we wanted to give him every option, but because of the risk we were told it wasn't possible. My mom wept when she told him the news. What he said next will be branded on my heart and mind forever. He took my mom's hand, then looked me straight in the eyes and said, "It's ok. We'll see each other soon." It sounds so cliche, when I read over those words, but he said it with an abundance of peace and conviction, that it pierced my heart. It was said unlike I have ever heard those words said before. Tearless up to that point, I could no longer hold back. That's what I will remember about him. Courageous, faithful, and a leader to the end, his devotion and assurance are a challenge to my faith. It has molded the person I am, and who I will become. 

This chain reaction, set the tone for the rest of my year, as I wrestled with my desires, my dreams, and my convictions. It has forced me to ask questions that I am still wrestling with, and through patient conversations with my dearest friends, Emily and Sarah, I have been challenged me to dig deeper into who God is and what His desires are for my life. Peace, Joy, Purpose, Passion, and most importantly to come to Know and Dwell in who HE IS. 

So, naturally, change.

That is what defined year 24, and is pouring into 25. January 7th is the new New Year's. It a new beginning, but also a reflection and time for praise. Even though life is changing dramatically for me as I explore God and what it means to be His child, I can rest in the promises of the things that don't change. They are the same things that my great-grandfather understood, believed, and fiercely held onto.

Blessings.