When I say that I have surrendered and am daily surrendering my life to Christ, what exactly does that mean?
I believe that when I surrendered my life, God took it. That means that He is at work in every situation, drawing me close to Him, and transforming my heart. He has shown Himself faithful in my past and I believe He will continue to be in my future. So then, why is it so hard to surrender the present?
I recognize that God's work in my life is a process, but sometimes my lack of patience gets the better of me. I want to know with absolute certainty what God is doing and do not like having to wait. But when I try to take the wheel from His hands, and I essentially fight what He is doing, things go terribly wrong.
I know this to be true. Heartbreaking experience tells me so.
So, what does it mean when I sing, "... I surrender all....?"
It means that daily I ask for God's help, wisdom, and direction. I pray for His hand over my work, relationships, and future. I pray for peace. I ask for forgiveness for my selfishness, anger, mistrust, and bitterness. I confess the resentment with which I still battle in my heart. I tell God my hopes, dreams, and deepest desires. I give them to Him to use for His purposes.
Maybe reading this sounds like such a cliche to you. It's something that you could hear from any pastor or read in any book. Truly, learning how to surrender in prayer has been somewhat of a struggle for me. Coming to trust God, and surrender my heart to Him has been and will continue to be a process. Yet, He has been patient with me. He knows the hurts and the struggles, and does not hold them against me.
Isn't that what surrender is about? God will have His will one way or another, but surrendering is asking God to include me in it. He is searching the earth for people with willing hearts to do His work, and surrendering is in essence giving my whole life to Him for his purposes. It is saying, "I am here Lord, imperfect though I may be, I trust that your plan is perfect, and that is enough."
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