Hello loved ones.
Three weeks into school, and I am already wondering what I can go without doing and still pass my class. I'm suffering from a severe lack of motivation right at the moment, as this post is evidence of. I should be writing a paper, but instead my thoughts are elsewhere.
This week has not been easy. My heart is being torn between dreams and reality. As much as I believe that happiness is a choice and that you reap what you sow, you cannot control other people's behavior. I am not necessarily the patient sort. (A weakness I am certainly struggling to hand over.)
There lies my dilemma- do I risk letting someone that I care about slip through my fingers in my efforts to be patient, or do I put myself out there and not worry about potential consequences?
I'm praying for clarity and peace of mind, but it's not coming. Instead I'm feeling more unsettled as time goes on. Prayer is desperately needed right now!
Sunday, August 21, 2011
Monday, July 18, 2011
Saturday, July 2, 2011
Friday, July 1, 2011
May Showers Bring June Flowers...at least in Colorado
Hello Loved Ones.
I thought I'd depart from the usual "copy and paste" nature of my previous posts and share with you a little news. Seeming as I have dropped off the face of the planet for most of you, I thought it appropriate. (Completely unintentional, I promise.)
The past two months have been a blur, filled with all sorts of activities. Some fun, some not so much, but all very enlightening.
I'll start from the beginning.
May was a month of change. As you know I've been learning to play the cello over the past year. It was been a wonderful experience! It such a deeply beautiful instrument, and the more I learn, the more I captivated I become! The past couple of months have been spent "getting to know my instrument" as my instructor calls it. She is a delightful young woman who teaches out of her home. I love her teaching style, as she has carefully observed my learning style and adapted her methods to fit. I couldn't have asked for a better teacher. Along with lessons, I have also been playing with a friend. Joshua Grubb plays the guitar beautifully, and though sometimes the practice sessions can be a little intimidating, I am learning much and growing in confidence. We have been working on a few songs, originally written by Joshua, and he has given me the freedom to add my own flavor to each. Quite the challenge, but I've enjoyed every bit of it! It's easy friendships like his that I am incredibly grateful for.
I had to take a few weeks from practicing in the middle of May, due to an unexpected and all-together unpleasant surprise. For quite sometime I have known that I have endometriosis. (If you don't know what that is, Google it.) My mom had been telling me for years to go see a specialist about it...and being fully Sawtell/Soderstrom... you know... I didn't until it became unbearable. The doc scheduled me for a minor oupatient surgery within a week. He was able to remove most of the endometriosis... Praise God! I still have endometriosis, but the pain I experience from it has greatly diminished. I'd have to say that the entire experience was a faith growing experience. I've always been a little bit wary when it comes to the healing gospel. This experience challenged my previous beleifs on what it means to believe in Christ our Healer...and has also prompted me to explore what it means to be held in bondage throughout the generations. I'm still exploring this idea and keeping my mind open for God's leading... I haven't really come to any conclusions. I do know that He is the Great I AM and that His power is far above anything that may have been passed onto me genetically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.
By the way... I have moved! I am no longer living in the basement. I'll have to admit, there are mixed feelings about this. I feel I can safely say that I am a prodigal child of sorts. The time spent at my parents over the past couple of years has allowed for a tremendous amount of healing, restoration, and forgiveness. To be given the opportunity to get to know my parents as an adult... it's seeing them through completely different eyes and noticing all the little things you never see as a child. It's getting to know their humanity and their blessing all in one. Now my evenings are spent alone, and solitude can be bittersweet.
Which brings me to today... the culmination of all the May Showers has brought June Flowers... a renewed hope, joy, and peace for what the remainder of the year will bring. I'll keep you posted.
Much Love.
I thought I'd depart from the usual "copy and paste" nature of my previous posts and share with you a little news. Seeming as I have dropped off the face of the planet for most of you, I thought it appropriate. (Completely unintentional, I promise.)
The past two months have been a blur, filled with all sorts of activities. Some fun, some not so much, but all very enlightening.
I'll start from the beginning.
May was a month of change. As you know I've been learning to play the cello over the past year. It was been a wonderful experience! It such a deeply beautiful instrument, and the more I learn, the more I captivated I become! The past couple of months have been spent "getting to know my instrument" as my instructor calls it. She is a delightful young woman who teaches out of her home. I love her teaching style, as she has carefully observed my learning style and adapted her methods to fit. I couldn't have asked for a better teacher. Along with lessons, I have also been playing with a friend. Joshua Grubb plays the guitar beautifully, and though sometimes the practice sessions can be a little intimidating, I am learning much and growing in confidence. We have been working on a few songs, originally written by Joshua, and he has given me the freedom to add my own flavor to each. Quite the challenge, but I've enjoyed every bit of it! It's easy friendships like his that I am incredibly grateful for.
I had to take a few weeks from practicing in the middle of May, due to an unexpected and all-together unpleasant surprise. For quite sometime I have known that I have endometriosis. (If you don't know what that is, Google it.) My mom had been telling me for years to go see a specialist about it...and being fully Sawtell/Soderstrom... you know... I didn't until it became unbearable. The doc scheduled me for a minor oupatient surgery within a week. He was able to remove most of the endometriosis... Praise God! I still have endometriosis, but the pain I experience from it has greatly diminished. I'd have to say that the entire experience was a faith growing experience. I've always been a little bit wary when it comes to the healing gospel. This experience challenged my previous beleifs on what it means to believe in Christ our Healer...and has also prompted me to explore what it means to be held in bondage throughout the generations. I'm still exploring this idea and keeping my mind open for God's leading... I haven't really come to any conclusions. I do know that He is the Great I AM and that His power is far above anything that may have been passed onto me genetically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.
By the way... I have moved! I am no longer living in the basement. I'll have to admit, there are mixed feelings about this. I feel I can safely say that I am a prodigal child of sorts. The time spent at my parents over the past couple of years has allowed for a tremendous amount of healing, restoration, and forgiveness. To be given the opportunity to get to know my parents as an adult... it's seeing them through completely different eyes and noticing all the little things you never see as a child. It's getting to know their humanity and their blessing all in one. Now my evenings are spent alone, and solitude can be bittersweet.
Which brings me to today... the culmination of all the May Showers has brought June Flowers... a renewed hope, joy, and peace for what the remainder of the year will bring. I'll keep you posted.
Much Love.
Monday, June 20, 2011
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Possibilities are Killing Us
"The virtue of good multitasking has replaced the virtue of singleness of heart."
This is just one of many quotes that reached into my soul when reading Possibilities are Killing Us - Aaron Stern's Blog.
Living in a generation that loves the idea of greener pastures, I'm finding that my heart is craving for sole purpose. Focusing on "the God who longs to gather us, whose arm is not too short to save (even from ourselves), nor ear too dull to hear, is the same yesterday and today" is beginning to look much different than what I originally thought. It means simplifying and eliminating all the clutter, not trying to get as much done in the shortest amount of time possible... but instead allowing "the God of all possibilities find rest focus, wisdom, and possibility for my soul."
Hmmm.... something tells me the God of all possibilities is far more creative than I am when it comes to purpose and dreams. What would happen in my heart if I started to say that my dream is to focus solely on worshipping God Almighty, and to make room through singleness of heart for His purpose, possibilities, and dreams?
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